Past Meet Present, Present Meet Past
by HermionesGreatestWish
Summary: Clear Watters thought she had her life all sorted out...until the love of her childhood comes back into her life.


"**Past Meet Present, Present Meet Past"**

**Amber Hedgepeth**

I was three years old when my mama died. I remember the day, fairly well for having been only three. I remember sitting on the floor in my room playing with my favorite Elmo toy. I heard mama and daddy laughing in the living room, love and affection in each and every word. But then, with a blink of an eye, it all changed. I heard mama scream and I ran into the living room to see what was wrong. She was panting and there was blood and water on the floor. I looked to my dad to see his face filled with worry, but for only a second. He ran to the phone and called the hospital, the baby was coming. Two months early. I looked to my moms face and saw the pain in the depths of her blue eyes. I cupped her cheek in my palm and kissed her. Then she was gone. I figured out later that day that mama had the baby, but she died while giving birth. I didn't understand what that meant, but I sat at the window after that day and waited for mama to come home, but she never did.

Fourteen years have come and gone now, but I still feel a deep sadness within the shadowy pits of my heart. I walk slowly over the dresser where I kept my mamas picture, I picked it up and brought it to my lips and kissed the cold reality. I laid it back down and walked to the window. I looked up into the sky, watching as the gray clouds enveloped all hope of a sunset. I shook my head and watched the clouds work their magic upon the horizon. As if they sensed my unhappiness the clouds made their way closer to me. Then finally, like the gates of my dream world opened, I watched as the rain began to fall, slowly at first the continuing to come down faster. All hope was being washed away as I slowly turned away from the window.

I walked slowly from my room and made my way down the hall way. When I arrived at the stair case I closed my eyes and felt sick to my stomach, ignoring the rising nausea I walk down the stairs. I look around to see if anyone was around. My youngest brother Dylan I found sitting on the couch with a Cheerwine in hand. I looked around to see if dad had arrived home yet. And to no surprise I found that he wasn't there. I made my way into the kitchen. The place I hated the most. Kitchen meant food, food meant fat. I didn't need food. I shook my head and walked to the sink and began washing dishes. My stomach growled in protest. _Three Days_ I thought to myself. I was becoming weaker with each day I continued to fast. I put my hand to my lips and walked to the fridge. I grabbed the apple juice and filled up a glass. I put the cold refreshing liquid to my lips. I swallowed and felt the liquid make it's way potently down my dry throat. I turned to see my oldest brother Drite standing in the door way. His towering six foot three over powered my short shot five foot none. I shook my head and smiled at him.

"What can I do for you?" I smiled sweetly, as my stomach announced itself once more. I watched as my brother shook his head and walked over to me. _Oh boy, here we go, lecture time. What fun?_

"Clear Watter's," he said in disdain and I shook my head, "When was the last time you ate?" I shook my head and bit back the rising tears that were clogging my throat.

"I ate this morning…why?" I tried to sound convincing but failed miserably. I slowly walked back to the sink and poured the rest of the juice out. I walked past my brother and into the living room trying to ignore the fact that his eyes were filled with worry. _Remember, you're fat. You don't need food, maybe if you continue doing well with no food you can eat some day. _I kept telling myself this. Over and over, and kept replaying the words in my head, tears slowly fell down my cheeks as I ran to my room. I couldn't face the disappointment that I would cause my brother if I told him the truth. If he knew how I felt he would say I was stupid for thinking this way. Drite wanted to protect me from all the harm the world would cause me, but I knew he couldn't. I remember in the third grade how he punched Damon Richardson in the nose because he called me fat.

I had always been up front and honest with Drite but I couldn't bring myself to tell him my deepest darkest secret. I shook my head and flung my body on my bed. I slowly lifted up on my elbows and reached to my bedside table to turn on the radio. Country music filled the room as my body shook with the unshed tears. I allowed all the pain to seep from my body with the tears. I shook my head and closed my eyes. Maybe I'd feel better after I took a much needed nap. But only a short one, I had to fix supper.

I slowly opened my eyes to the sun that was now making its way into my room. I stifled a yawn and snuggled deeper into my bed covers. I opened my eyes quickly panic snaking its way into my heart. I said a few obscene words of frustration and shot up out of the bed. It was morning. Meaning I had slept through the night. _I forgot to cook supper for Dylan and Drite, they're going to hate me. _I hurried out of my room in the clothes that I had worn the day before. I made my way quickly down the steps to find Dad in the kitchen reading the newspaper and sipping a fresh cup of coffee. _Great, I forgot to get up in time to make him coffee also, how can this day get any better?_I walked farther into the kitchen and opened the fridge to get out some bacon and eggs to fix Drite and Dylan breakfast.

"Don't worry about it." I heard my dad say. I shook my head and looked at him with question filled eyes. "You're brothers have already gone to school. They took the school bus, I thought I would let you sleep a little while longer. I'll take you to school as soon as I finish this cup of coffee." I looked at the clock and only reading 7:00 a.m. I walked up to my room with no debate. I opened one of my drawers and pulled out a sweater that I had been given as a hand me down from Drite and then slid into a pair of jeans that I had gotten when we had went back to school shopping. I slipped on some well worn shoes and place my hair into a pony tail. After giving myself a look over, I walked from the room and down the hall to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and looked at myself in the mirror once again. _I look horrid_. With that thought I retreated from the bathroom with wounded defeat and made my way back down the stairs and to the kitchen. I watched as my dad finished his last sip of coffee and we left the house.

"Oh my God, did you hear…" I listened as Calisha went on about how so and so cheated on so and so, so they broke up. I shook my head and tried not to laugh and feigned disbelief.

"Are you serious, they broke up?" I looked up from my locker to look into Cal's eyes which were filled with wonder, and hope, and life. _God what I'd do to have that much enthusiasm. _I slowly closed my locker and listened to her continue with her rant, not really listening, but some how responding with the answers at the right time with 'oh really?' or 'yeah, I know.' But for some reason I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying. _I feel so weak, and tired_. I thought. "Well, Cal, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to go to first period." I hugged Cal and made my way from my friend, towards the Chemistry class.

The first thing I spotted when I walked into first was a New Kid. But he looked familiar for some reason. I shook my head and chided myself _how could I possibly know him, he's new?_ I shook my head and reached into my book bag to pull out my Chemistry book. I placed it on my desk and started searching my bag for a pencil, having found one I looked towards the clock on the wall to see when the bell would ring. One minute. I looked up at the teachers' desk and waited for her to announce the beginning of class.

"Ok class, today we are going to learn about—" she paused a moment as if remembering she had forgotten something, and as if I had read her mind "—hmm today we have a new student, his name is Vance Miller—" My heart jumped in my throat. Vance Miller. Blackness enveloped me and I felt myself falling I heard someone shout my name…but I was lost.

"Clear," I heard someone shouting, "Clear…c'mon wake up," I shook my head and slowly opened my eyes. I looked to see my teacher standing above me with an expression of worry on her face, but her breath escaped her body in a sigh. "Good, you're awake, now that you are, we can take you to the nurses' office." I shook my head, _No! No! Nurses office_ I wanted to scream but I couldn't because I felt too weak. I wondered why I had fallen then like a bullet it hit me…_Vance Miller... I was in grade school the last time I saw him…he was the first guy I had a crush on...then like magic ink, he disappeared never to be seen again. _I groaned and attempted to sit up.

"My head hurts," I managed to whisper.

"Can someone help Clear to the Nurses office?" my teacher exclaimed frantically then pulling _someone_ to the side she asked them to do it.

I felt that _someone_ grasp me under my arms and lift me up as if I were no heavier than a pillow. I gasped as I looked to see the person face, and that face being no other than Vance himself. I shook my head and wanted nothing but to cry, but I felt too weak to cry. I felt him grasp me under the legs and lift me into his arms, my first thought being _Night and Shining Armor. _I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his neck, in fear that I was to heavy for him. _Oh God, I'm fat, how can he carry me like I'm nothing? _I closed my eyes and buried my face into his chest. _God I'm so embarrassed. _Obviously we had arrived to the nurses' office because I felt him slowly lowering me on a cushioned sofa. I looked into his eyes and saw worry in them, and then a flicker of recognition, and a smile touched his lips. _He remembers me, _I thought. With that I whispered an apology and closed my eyes.

_"Clear, c'mon wake up and eat". I looked at the bear standing in front of me. A bear wants me to eat, I sniffed the air, and then suddenly I started shaking…blackness…then…_ I opened my eyes and blinked at the lightness of the room. _Where am I? _I shook my head…and turned my head so see the school nurse standing beside me. My lips parted and I tried to swallow, my throat was so dry. I looked up at the ceiling and moaned. She had food. My stomach began speaking again. _I feel like my stomach is eating itself_ I sat up on the sofa and looked around, dazed. _What happened?_ Like a frisbee, it hit me. _Vance Miller…No food…Ugh…being carried in his arms. _My cheeks burned, _Oh God! I'm such a moron I should be killed!_

"Good!" I heard the nurse cheerfully exclaim, "You're awake! Now we can get some food into you!" I shook my head, and as if she read my mind "No objections, you're eating. Your blood sugar is low and your blood pressure is high. Either you have diabetes or you are trying not to eat. And you need the nutrition in your body, or you will have difficulties with your motor skills and pass out like you just did."

"I've eaten…" I protested weakly, tears filled my eyes. "Ok, I haven't eaten…but I don't feel like it…" I lied. She offered me a tray from the cafeteria and I attempted to eat it. A chicken sandwich, fruit, and a carton of milk, eh, this didn't look to appetizing. I swallowed the bland tasting food, if you could call it food. I didn't want it. I shook my head but continued to force the food down my throat. I looked to the nurse who stood over me watching me observantly to make sure I ate it all. When I took the last bite of the sandwich I stood up. I looked to her and asked frantically:

"What time is it?"

"11:00" My stomach flipped, it was almost third period _Creative Writing._ I had missed two whole periods, and now I had to go to class, and see what else could go wrong on this freakishly nightmarish day. All I wanted to do was crawl in a ball and die. My mind was still running around when I finally left the nurses office. But I didn't leave without a warning. "If you don't eat you're going to end up in the hospital"


End file.
